I'll Live Around It
by ollie-oxycotyn
Summary: JackOC What you feel is what you are, and what you are is beautiful... It was all for her, even if she didn't know it.


**Been on a bit of a Goo Goo Dolls trip recently, and, while at work, was inspired for a song fic. Ha, most of this was written on the backs of unwanted customer receipts then transferred onto my computer during a 3am Mountain Dew induced caffeine buzz. **

**Hope you like it!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Jack (oh, trust me, if I did, I would have something/one better to do than sit and write fanfic) and I don't own Four Brothers (props to Jon Singleton and all others!). I'm not making money off this (if I was, then I wouldn't be pulling overtime at Sonny's) and lastly I do not own the song (John Rzeznik hott and Goo Goo Dolls greatness!). I do, however, own the girl, if that counts. Thank you and good night.**

* * *

He stood on the stage, staring at the crowd gathered into the small space of the club, fighting with his inner annoyance and disappointment at everything he was, trying not to let it show on his face. Why was he here? Why even get up on this stage and try to give all of these people a show? They wouldn't take any of this with them when they left tonight. He'd just be another faded memory to them. Why spill his guts all over this stage, trying to mean something to someone? And why work so hard just to hate it all now?

Ok, so maybe he didn't hate it, per say, but it was wearing him out. It was wearing him down. The longer and harder he tried, the more his dream seemed to slip away from him. He hadn't made a difference to anyone, not like he had imagined he would. That's why he wanted it: He wanted his music to be that escape, even if it was for just one person. That's all he'd ever wanted, just to _matter_.

_And maybe it will matter_, he thought to himself as his eyes fell upon a girl near the front of the stage. But the stage wasn't where she was looking, her back was turned toward it and him, her focus solely on delivering the drinks to the customers. She didn't know it, but his eyes had been on her since the first day he had been playing here, singer of the house band of this nameless club.

_This is for her_, he decided, bracing himself for the next song. _Whether she knows it or not, this song is for her. _She had become his own private obsession. She didn't know him, and he didn't know her, but he wanted to. And this was the only way he knew how to put it out there.

No more hesitation, this time he stepped forward to the mike with new purpose. Fuck not having a deal. Fuck his dreams. And fuck everyone and everything else. Only the music mattered now. Only she mattered.

He placed one hand on the microphone, letting the opening chords wash over him, the vibrations of his own voice rocking him to his core, making a clear path just to her.

_Could you whisper in my ear  
The things you wanna feel?  
I'll give ya anything  
To feel it comin'_

_  
Do you wake up on your own  
And wonder where you are?  
Ya live with all your faults…_

Along the way of trying to find her in the music, his own insecurities had somehow spilled into this confession while in its making. Sure it was about her, but to get to her, he had to give away some of himself, too.

_Don't you love the life you killed?  
The priest is on the phone,  
Your father hit the wall,  
Your 'ma disowned you._

_  
Don't suppose I'll ever know  
What it means to be a man.  
Somethin' I can't change,  
I'll live around it_

There they were again: his guts, his soul spilled sloppily out on the stage. And all for her. His mystery, his muse, his obsession. So what if he didn't know her past? Or where she came from? Or why she had landed here in some rundown club in New York, serving drinks to the already-drunk masses? Every word was still just for her.

_  
I wanna wake up where you are  
I won't say anything at all  
So why don't you slide  
Oooh slide_

He sang with purpose and grace, feeling it all: Disappointment, humility, excitement, serenity. She was going to see his true self, in his true form. His eyes closed, his body overwhelmed with a newfound clarity and abandon. If only she knew…

_  
Yeah, and I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete  
Little pieces of the nothing that fall  
Ah babe, put your arms around me…_

He opened his eyes, coming straight into hers. She was standing there, openly staring. He didn't falter, just sang for her, straight at her, smiling slightly at the attention he was receiving from her, finding more than lust in the little blush he saw forming on her cheeks, even from so far away.  
_  
"What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful…" _he sang to her. She was beautiful. A modest kind of beauty, but still ever radiant. He wanted that kind of radiant beauty to wake him up in the morning, wrapped up in his sheets, next to him with a small smile playing on her lips. So what if they were still strangers? He at least knew her name…

_  
Ah May, do you wanna get married, or run away?  
Yeah, and I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete  
Little pieces of the nothing that fall_

_I wanna wake up where you are…  
But I won't say anything._

His imagination so vivid, he had a hard time remembering that it hadn't happened. She was still a total stranger, yet he was ready to runaway with her. Ready to forever share everything with her.

_Yeah, and I'll do anything you ever dreamed to be complete  
Little pieces of the nothing that fall_

_Oh, slide between them sheets of all those beds you never knew  
Why don't you slide into my room?  
Why don't you slide into my room?  
And we'll will run away, run away, run away…_

...

The night was finally over. He made his way over to the bar, tiredly taking a seat in one of the barstools. The whole place was now empty, void of it's previous activity. Now they were the only two left. The artist and his muse, no way to hide this time.

She made her way over to his end of the bar, cleaning behind the bar as she went along. He gave her a small smile, which she returned.

"What'll it be?" she asked quietly.

He lit a cigarette, thinking for a moment, before finally deciding on whiskey. She gave a small nod and prepared his drink for him. He sipped it slowly, trying to find a way to initiate a conversation. But she beat him to it.

"Good set tonight," she said quietly, almost nervously. He took a sip of his drink, smiling and nodding.

"Thanks," he mumbled, unable to make eye contact, but his smile wasn't going anywhere.

"I must say," she continued with a bit more bravado. "I'm becoming quite the fan."

"Really?" he asked, looking up at her, almost not believing it was true. Not believing that maybe it was all coming true.

"Yeah," she said. "I really like your lyrics."

"Thank you," he told her again. Then, offering his hand, he said, "I'm Jack. Jack Mercer."

"May," she practically whispered. "May Winters."

"Yeah," he said, as she accepted his hand. "I know."

They continued to smile at one another, hands embracing for longer than necessary. _One second, two seconds, three seconds…_ A connection.

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked it. So far, it's just a one shot, maybe more in the future, not sure. But, yeah, figured if I can't come up with anything for my other story right now, best not to start a new one...**

**And to all of my wonderfully lover-ley _Family_ readers: I AM SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR MY LACK OF UPDATE!! I've been trying hard to finish chapter 8 and I've got a few things down and in my computer, but a lot has been going on in my life right now (me and the Johnny Law aren't getting along, if you know what I mean... He likes to insist that I am a bad driver, which I am TOTALLY not! How do you expect me to pay if you won't let me drive to work?!). Anyway, enough rambling... Like I said: have some stuff going on, but it's coming to a close and the evil shroud of Writer's Block is starting to dissipate, so I PROMISE I have not given up on the story, it's just taking longer than I hoped... Please don't lose hope!!**

**But, back to the fic at hand: Hope you like, R&R is appreciated more than you know!!**

**Love, Ollie**

**P.S. xNegAttentionx: (if you do happen to read this fic) Can't wait on your next chapter! Sorry you're waiting so long for mine!**


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